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Thursday evening My darling Johnny - I have just received your sad and heart sinking letter - and perhaps I should not answer it just in the heat of excitement it causes me but I feel as tho I could not sleep until I have attempted at last to atone for my great folly. I have been unhappy about that miserable letter ever since I wrote it, and only consoled myself by hoping dear Johnny will think poor old Mommy she is beside herself, and not worth minding, and I opened your letter with fear & trembling - alas, alas, my darling boy can you forgive the great injustice. I have unwillingly done you - in honor and in love been that cruel instrument of our wretchedness, immediately, and try to forget it. The fact is I cannot bear any the least imputation against you - but God grant I may never hear any more than such trifles as these, for after all of what ? I even accuse you - you know I am apt to work myself up into a flurry on very slight grounds. I must justify Mr. Wills