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ought not & as I deeply regret for doing, I acknowledge I thought you ought to be contented & love our home inasmuch as it was the best spot on Earth than was in my power to furnish for our home. I have no doubt but that you tried to love it for my sake & ti think it was home. I have thought the matter over much, not only before we left there but since. I would be O, so glad, if it were in my power to furnish you with such a home as you would love for I feel sure we should be very happy in it if we could live together there. I have thought much of late how such a home could be obtained, & have made many plans but they all separate me from you & the children & dear wife it seems to me that death is preferable to living with the certainty that I must always be away from you & our children, that I must go through life without a home. I love you & I love our children & I want to live with you & them if possible to so arrange our matters as to secure such a home as will suit you & at the same time will enable me to earn a comfortable support for us all. If I were well & strong I think I should be able to find such a home but s it is, I do not know how it will be. I have thought that we might sell our horses & cattle & buy a small house either in Warwick or some other New England Village where you would be satisfied. But the objection to this is I cannot live there & even if I could I know of no way I could support us. I could carry on the farm & perhaps might get a situation after a time as Civil Engineer but at present the Pacific R.R. is not & will not be pushed so as to cause

[left-hand side] I think now of visiting our farm about the 1st of March to look after things. Myron said the cattle were looking well but Mrs. Morical was sick and had broken feet? and had no one but a quite small girl about 10 years old to help her and consequently the house was not very neat.