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& happy with me there. I do dislike living as I do so much. If I could have outdoor occupation I think I should feel differently here, for the fresh air would give me an appetite & I should not feel so dull. I have had too a great deal of excitement here also relative to pecuniary matters for the past two weeks & I have felt so anxious about you & the children that I do not wonder I am half sick. I have not used my horses at all. I try to take some exercise walking but it don't amount to much. I sent my horses, that is Bill, Kate & Charly down to the farm by Myron one week ago. He also paid our taxes. Zeke is here, but I cannot ride him horseback & I have no buggy here. I want to sell Zeke & try & pay Morse. So yet Zeke 's eyes have been so that I have not been able to sell him. If I could get away from here & spend a week with you & the children I think I should be a new man again & could return to my work with fresh strength & courage but of course this cannot be as you are so far away. I must remain here & do the best I can & try & pay my debts. I shall not be able to pay Erasmus this spring however. Since writing the first part of this letter I have counselled with Mr. Hannah & he tells me he has no shadow of doubt but that the sale is valid of my furniture & stock to Mr. Weaver to be held in trust for your benefit in consideration of your releasing your right of dowry in the property you did & that we need give ourselves no uneasiness about it, as he does not think any one will think of giving us