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But I will be published, if I can, I've got to be–and I will have my own picture of life, my own vision of society, of the world as, thus far, I've been here able to live, sweat, feel and think it through! And my unknown with all these people with whom I have been so close, with whom my life has been so deeply knit, has become so great, so complex and so various! – I don't see how it can be patched up now! Really, I don't think I'm either muddled or confused, I don't think