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   Then there is barter.  I've got so good at this they've started calling me the big barter and egg man from the East.
   Eg:  My friend Mario needs some carpentry work done in his corner groceria.  (we call it the cornercopia)  Having got bids he then had me do the work for merchandise of value equal to the low bid plus the cost of materials and minus any applicable sales tax (he pays this on merchandise received regardless of whether or not he gives it away or sells it at a loss).  My profit (he's charging me retail so why shouldn't I charge him retail ?) is more than eough [sic] to cover the 4% and leave me a bit of cash besides.
   Only fault I have with this deal is that Mario didn't give me Blue Chip Stamps
   But Jack, have you heard about Pvt Goldfarb, a rookie in the Israli [sic] Army ?  He wanted a weekend pass to go see his girl friend in Tel Aviv.  But no passes for six months.
   Unless, he captures an Arab tank or three Arab machine guns.  So Goldfarb goes and gets an Arab tank and off to Tel Aviv as a minor hero.
   Then back to camp.  Couple of weeks later, Goldfarb comes in with a second Arab tank.  Mirabli, a week pass and this considerable hero has dinner with the Mayor of Tel Aviv.
   Then back to camp.  Less than a month passes before Goldfarb strikes again.  For his third Arab tank, Private Goldfarb is accorded a month pass, a Regimental Parade and the Colonel personally presents this great hero with a case of Mogen David.
    In Tel Aviv he is feted on all sides including dinner at the home of Ben Gurion.  After a few drinks he is less awed by these big shots and falls into conversation with the great man  himself. who finally says, "Private Goldfarb, I know you heros don't like to talk about your exploits, but how did you capture those Arab tanks ?"
     "Nothing to it Mr President.   I'd crank up one of our own tanks and drive out into the desert.    Then when I spotted an Arab tank I'd lean out and holler,  "Hey, you want a week end pass ? " "
   Enough of such nonsense, see if you  can decipher the enclosed cookie fortunes which Alice and I picked up at the tea garden in Golden Gate Park.

Cest la ball bounces George

handwritten in left margin PS: Would you like to invest in Alice's new invention, misfortune cookies?