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He did though. Not the things. He was confused. He thought the things were a sign other children were loved. Its confused. I've always been confused at Christmas. * * * I went to Pat Pallins new house. They have a 2 year old child - little Pat.
Some one, Henry Staley perhaps, have given him a mechanical toy. He went up to it and kicked it to smitherines.
Just then - I had to hold myself back. I said
nothing. I wanted to say - "kick the goddam thing again."
_ _ _ _ It seems to me sometimes I am drawing near something. Perhaps I'm not ready yet.
My days and nights are full of demons. I've made no money these six months - a few hundred dollars. I haven't saved. I dream of a book out of the mind of a drunken man - -
Comprehending - in a way - all