.MTQwNQ.MTIxNDU5

2

He did though.
Not the things.
He was confused. He thought the things were a sign other children were loved.
 Its confused.   I've always been confused at Christmas.
      *                        *                      *
 I went to Pat Pallins new house. They have a 2 year old child - little Pat.

Some one, Henry Staley perhaps, have given him a mechanical toy. He went up to it and kicked it to smitherines.

Just then - I had to hold myself back. I said

nothing. I wanted to say - "kick the goddam thing again."

     _              _                          _                         _
 It seems to me sometimes I am drawing near something. Perhaps I'm not ready yet.

My days and nights are full of demons. I've made no money these six months - a few hundred dollars. I haven't saved. I dream of a book out of the mind of a drunken man - -

 Came panhandling  - in a way - all