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2 He did thought. Not the things. He was confused. He thought the things were a sign other children were loved. It confused. ? always ? at Christmas.

I went to Pat Pallin's? new house. They have a 2 year old child - little Pat. Someone, Henry Staley perhaps, have given him a mechanical toy. He went up to it and kicked it to smithereens I sat there. I had to hold myself back. I said nothing. I wanted to say - "kick the goddam thing again!" It seems to me sometimes I am drawing near something. PerhapsI'm not ready yet. My days and nights are full of demons. I've made no money this six months - a fe3w hundred dollars. I haven't cared. I dream of a book out of the mind of a drunken man - - I am pretending - in a way - all