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neither she nor any one else will ever be very free | neither she nor any one else will ever be very free | ||
but she might to get out of that she must. | but she might to get out of that she must. | ||
I did not say to | I did not say to Older that I was not going to | ||
Cal. or that I was happy, but he probably inferred | Cal. or that I was happy, but he probably inferred | ||
both.- I will never be happy, no | both.- I will never be happy, no more will you, we | ||
were not made to be happy & yet I suppose I appear | were not made to be happy & yet I suppose I appear | ||
happy to him and I did not say much about | happy to him and I did not say much about | ||
Cal. Do you know Mary ever since I | Cal. Do you know Mary ever since I came back I | ||
have been trying to go to Cal. but always | have been trying to go to Cal. but always the old | ||
terror of it all comes in me and keeps me | |||
here. It is so hard to go back to the scene of all | here. It is so hard to go back to the scene of all | ||
the indignities insults & humiliations I suffered | the indignities insults & humiliations I suffered | ||
there. I was | there. I was helpless to persist Of course I want | ||
to go. It is lovely there & the friends are so many | to go. It is lovely there & the friends are so many | ||
& dear and when I think of it | & dear and when I think of it a black cloud | ||
comes over the sky & cant get out from under | comes over the sky & cant get out from under | ||
it. Gladly would I come to S.F. but I cant go | it. Gladly would I come to S.F. but I cant go | ||
there without going to the home of the | there without going to the home of the Angels. I | ||
Latest revision as of 03:45, 25 April 2022
[letterhead]1202 Ashland Block Chicago [Added note: Probably 1913 no transcript]
Mar 31 Dear Mary Have been sorry to hear of Sarahs illness and do hope she will get well and free. of course neither she nor any one else will ever be very free but she might to get out of that she must.
I did not say to Older that I was not going to
Cal. or that I was happy, but he probably inferred both.- I will never be happy, no more will you, we were not made to be happy & yet I suppose I appear happy to him and I did not say much about Cal. Do you know Mary ever since I came back I have been trying to go to Cal. but always the old terror of it all comes in me and keeps me here. It is so hard to go back to the scene of all the indignities insults & humiliations I suffered there. I was helpless to persist Of course I want
to go. It is lovely there & the friends are so many
& dear and when I think of it a black cloud comes over the sky & cant get out from under it. Gladly would I come to S.F. but I cant go there without going to the home of the Angels. I