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he can live long unless he gets out of his present embarrassment & yet the outside world think him one of the happier of men. How little the world knows of the inner life of most of us. Do not let Charles or his wife know of what I have written for they will return here & it is possible that there will yet be some safe way out for David & Leaming but it looks dark now I assure you. Wife you know nothing of the agony I have suffered in business if you did you would appreciate my satisfaction with & love of our prairie home, & you would not wish me to Encounter such terrible trials again.My business life was not my home life, & I tried to leave my business troubles where they would not annoy you. I would honestly prefer living in a log house with one room & be free from such anxiety to living in a palace with it. You know I have sometimes been impatient because you have not been satisfied with our prairie home & wished me again to return to business but I ought to have remembered that you did not even dream of what was involved in giving up my country life & launching out in business again with poor health & small capital. It makes me shudder to think of it. Kiss the children for me. Remember me kindly to Mary & the others, I remain as ever your affectionate husband N. Kendall