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The Ladies Dress --- a Receipt

Give Chloe a bushel of horsehair and wool

    of haste & pomatum a pound,

Ten yards of gay ribbon to deck her sweet skull,

    And gauge to encompass it round.

of all the bright colours the rainbow displays

   Be those ribbands wch hang on her head;

Be her flounces adapted to make the folks gaze

   And about the whole work be they spread.

Let her flaps fly behind, for a yard at the least;

   Let her curls meet just under her chin;

Let those curls be supported, to keep up the Jest,

   With a hundred, instead of one pin.

Let her gown be tuck'd up to the hip on each side;

   Shoes too high to walk or to jump;

And to deck the sweet creature compleat for a bride

   Let the Cork cutter make her a rump.

Thus finish'd in taste, while on Chloe you gaze,

   You make the dear charmer for Life;

But never undress her -- for, out of her stays,

  You'l find you have lost half your wife