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at home. They are well & so are their children. They enquired kindly for you. Madam Paine & Katie are still East. I think a great deal about your journey home. It will be very hard for you at best. I wish I felt able to go East & return with you but I am afraid to. I am aware you do not think I should run any risk, or of course you would not wish me to do so, for of course you are as anxious to have me live as I am to live & would regard my death as a great calamity to you & the children. My experience the last time I went East & also my recent experience in riding in the cars makes me dread a journey very much. Perhaps my fears are groundless. I fear also that it will do you harm. Perhaps you can arrange so as to stop at Albany with Mrs. Lee & at Buffalo with Mr. Hartzell's folks in case Lydia returns with you & then by taking the sleeping car from Buffalo you will not get as tired. If I go with you I shall not think of going through without stopping. I wish you & I were both well but we are not. You will get so tired coming out. David said to-day he would pay 10 dollars towards my expenses East if I would stop in N.Y. City and see some men there for him. I would not hesitate a moment to go East & return with you did I not so dread the effect of the journey. For I do want to see Sarah & George in their home & sister Lydia & then I know it would be easier for you even if Lydia did return with you. I may yet overcome my fears enough to make the attempt. Mr. Paine said if he was in my place he should not dare undertake it. It did not rain last night as i wrote you I fear it would. It has been quite cold to day & is to-night. I should enjoy so much to have you with me to night to snug close up to me & to give me some of your sweet kisses. I am daily expecting to hear whether Lydia will return with you & if not then I must make such other arrangements as well best suit you. I hope I shall find a letter in the P.O. from you in the morning. With a loving kiss I bid you a sweet good night, affectionately N. Kendall