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2 [?] lonely hour. I am very nervous and worried, as I say I do not understand how to go about trying to get even a small amount monthly of his Govt pension if I could only get enough to pay (or help pay) the utilites [sic] it would help - but I cant afford to spend any money (more than Ive already done) on a thing so uncertain. I will get 75$ a month Social Security which sounds like quite an amount but you see I owe almost a thousand yet at the Medical Center in Columbia his hosp-Bill was elven [sic] hundred and 88 $ and 5 cts at the Medical Center Ive been sending 10$ per month on that but it will take more than my lifetime to pay it on those terms. I had a few Thousand $ in Bonds but of course when Fred came home it took the larger portion of our savings to pay for his medicine, sots, etc. he really suffered both in Mind and Body Much more than he deserved it seems to suffer for he was a wonderful person other than his craving for drink and drugs Oh Jack you will never know (I hope) how I miss him how much I loved and depended on him so absolutely and how Im all alone his remorse was pitiful, and he had such bright