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From Newberry Transcribe
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11 generous with one hand - but abominably selfish with the other - such an hand to deal with I find I am not too good a sympathiser with girls and common as I used to be. I have lost much of sickly sentimentality. In truth I have turned sentimentality out of doors and taken fact into my house. I expect some are disappointed at this change in me - but I cannot help it. I have found out that I am good-natured and this is the cause of my popularity. I used to wonder why all my girl associates formerly liked me but none loved me. I have discovered that good nature breeds like and not love. I find my tastes are changing. Sin used to be my grand hobby - to persue the women - but now I find I love the contact of menbetter. I love mens and money now. I used to be very conscientious in my devotion to looks - now I can scarcely look into one. I read but little. I have not lost the relish - but my business hinders me more than ever before I have got out of the habit too of making time for reading. I have learned one vice this year - viz: to roll at ten pins - like all then new amusements - I find it difficult to distrain myself within bounds. Last year I learned to play cards - it has left quite a relish in my feelings - but I cannot play here. When I was 21 I learned to play Backgammon and Chess and at 19 Checkers. I have got nearly all these amusements. The right and the wrong of which so divides Christians I hear all the young ladies I left at home about whom I felt interested have married. Three years ago this might have troubled me. Not is passes in my ear like my other news. I am not married yet - nor in love yet it is hard to me to say. I may not soon be I find in myself a very loving disposition - and more especially since my return to society. I sometimes think on the subject. Call up this and that one