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I believe in one of your letters this fall, I believe you wrote something about decision, wanting me to decide something what I would do, or try to do with myself. It is a subject which really puzzles me a good deal, when I think of it, which, in fact, I hardly dare to do, very much. Every time I begin to think of it, I begin to think almost that it was rather silly business for me to attempt to go through College, for I really do not know what to do with myself, when I do get through, if I am permitted to. If I had not tried to get an Education, I could probably have found something to occupy myself about while permitted to dwell here, and it would not have of a great deal of importance what it was, or how; but after one has, bu any means, acquired a liberal, it might be said, a public Education, there seems to be a greater responsibility resting upon one. There is more expected of one, to be sure, those expectations are so frequently for certain cause disappointed that they are less than it would seem they might in some cases reasonably be; there is in reality a greater responsibility, the enjoyment of advantages & priveleges that others have not, and the cultivation of mind, and the power, moral & intellectual power that should be the result, of course seem to demand a corresponding influence, a greater debt of duty to one's fellow beings, something more like a king the world better & happier for one's efforts What a preamble! and now I dont know what I intended to say

 I can seem to see my way after a fashion, through doubts and difficulties, to be sure, through College, or nearly so; That is, with all most favorable circumstances, looking only on the bright side of things} if Providence spare my life, and continues my health, and blesses me with success in every thing, and every effort, as, I ought to be thankful, has been the case with me so far, so much. I can seem to see a way to get along. with the money I have earned this fall, and expect this winter, till next fall; by teaching next fall & winter, if I have my health etc., I could get

[left-hand side]I have been expecting a letter from you for a week past, perhaps there's one in the mail. Had one from Jos. Sund. directed one to Ann Tuesday.