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Had many serious thought upon the folly and depravity of leading a life of sin. I questioned myself as to what was gained by it in this life or in the world to come. I find according to the word of God nothing is gained but every thing is lost. I felt the whisperings of the spirit God saying return unto me and I will heal thy backslidings but Oh! how depraved is this heart of mine how full of madness and folly to reject the offerings of the Savior for the meager gratifications of this hearts Oh! that God would soften this heart make me feel the exceeding sinfulness of sin and draw me unto him by the chords(?) of his love. Happiness is only to be found in God. Oh Lord I subdue this haughty and rebellious spirit take away this heart of stone and give me a heart of