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the strongest feelings that R ever exhibits are resentment and stubborness. I was excited and as usual may have said many things I ought not, but I told her so afterwards and that I would try not to hurt her feelings any more, but we would wait on each other and live in love and be as happy as we could. Mrs Wade wrote her a short but artful letter, telling her? she unclear her as a dear daughter, and that in this state when two expressed their wish to be united before witness it was loyal, &c I think she is a manoevring woman, and all there things make is so much worse. I cannot bear the thought that she should be taken by stratagem + storm. R. treats me with great coldness, and is very curt in her language, if this continues I shall think the year very long, dear Johnny I have to stop every minute to wipe my eyes. I cannot help weeping as I write, how deeply I feel the misfortune of such weakness I know it is not right it is injuring my health, but alas what can I do. I will fight against it, hard, I will think how blessings I have, what a dear good Johnny and three little ones to care for. As to Jane she is a good child but it is all papine? she reads and writes letters and disturbs no body but she does not disturb herself either about other people, it they are happy she lets them alone if they are unhappy she does the same, she was pleased with Mr W. thought I was very unreasonable, and asked me if she might correspond with him. I told her I would rather not have anything to do with any of them I felt so wronged and aggrieved. I wish you would give Jane and Charlotte after a while) a hint about their part in this matter. one thing more on this painful subject, you thought I knew Mr. Wade and knew they wanted R &c. I had seen him and never could