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to try you, & I do most truly and deeply sympathise with you. Nearly all my letters from that way breathe a sorrowful spirit from the same cause; but some of them have added, "But some seem to be pleased, & I am glad if any can be benefitted." Now would it not be well for you to live now within yourself, to seek for renewal of your spiritual life more from your own prayers, reading, & thoughts & not be so sensibly effected by outward influences. Our real life is within ourselves; "the kingdom of heaven is within you". I had never heard of Mr. Bartlett till he went to Marietta. I presume he is a well meaning man, & strives to do good. he was schooled in Methodism, & no doubt fancies that extemporaneous preaching is much the best for the majority of hours, whether the preacher has the capacity for such preaching or not. You know very well that most uneducated persons like it best. My opinion is that many ministers do it to avoid labor. I have preached much extemporaneously, but seldom to my satisfaction. But often when I have felt most dissatisfied, others have thought I preach the best they had ever heard me. Now be patient & try & be happy & grow in spiritual growth. And try & make Sarah happy. Do not complain to her about the preaching, nor anything else if you can avoid it. She has troubles of her own enough to bear. It pains me beyond expression to think she is no better satisfied with her meetings. I was afraid it would be so. I knew everything then would be different. Try & make her happy & not feel the fire of her discontent. By & by she shall be happy if the world has to be turned round for her accommodation. I wish she was with me now. This winter will be not less than four months crossed out years long without her. You speak of my health. My health is still good. No part of my system is in the least diseased. But I am worn & work though I feel a great deal stronger than I did a few weeks ago. My physical disability was caused not by labor or study or anything but the anguish of a bruised & bleeding heart. A few months now such feelings I have borne for the last two years, I am confident would have ended my earthly pilgrimage. But I shall recover my strength as soon