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by trying to turn her too suddenly these ill feelings will probably wear away with the disease. The only hope of ever having her come back to her old time affection is to let her do it of her own accord. If you push at her you will only do harm. I dont want her until she can come to me an affectionate wife, happy in me & contented with her lot. I dont want her to come from love & deference to you or your wishes. Dont mention this thing further in your letters to her. speak of me kindly - affectionally as I know you feel. but avoid arousing antagonism by appealing to her to make what she will probably regard as concessions to me.

I am not going East this winter.  so there is no need of annoying her.  If she is going to come around, time & good health may accomplish it. If not, not & thus the end of it.