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May 12 18th. This morning took leave of my Dear Brother. Oh! what agony filled by breast whence I confronted on his cheek the last kiss. I received his last embrace. Where shall I find relief for this aching heart. Oh! my Dear dear Brother I never knew how much I loved you until called to part with you. My heart is ready to burst with anguish when I think I may never gaze upon those dear features again, that I cannot be near you in health to sympathise with and console you in affliction that in sickness I am refused the pleasure of attending you and administering to your necessities. Oh that our days had always been days of childhood that we might have been near each other. But it is a vain and wicked wish. May God give us minds to be contented in the situation in which he has placed us yet [unclear] excep of grief we forget all things but the cause of it and murmur against that hand who sends it to share us the rarity of this and the fallaciousness of promises. May the 14th My heart refuses to be comforted. I can think of nothing but parting with my beloved brother & sisters leaving my dear native place where rest the remains of the kindest and best of parents. Oh! that I might be reconciled to my fate