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look into the future and reflect upon the consequences before you abandon a profession that has already cost you so much, for an uncertainty, I know not to what you allude, but you certainly cannot think of a wandering business when you speak of going to other places, you say you still have a little hope destroy it not by lowering your position too much, you must explain yourself more fully before I can advise or encourage you. I must confess any confidence in you has been increased by the way you have acted in this matter, you will laugh at the idea, but do you know I feared you would start? off in a fit of gloom and I should never see or hear from you again, was it any wonder I was in such distress, but I kept close and was only not[underlined] well[underlined], but dearest Johnny if you will only continue your confidence to me I will promise to do better and not go crazy again. You don't know how many trials I have and how it lightens them and quietens my life to enjoy the love and confidence of my children. Tell me all your plans and wishes, your ups and downs all that concerns you interests me, moreover I will not misjudge whom you approve. I do not consider you a child, but you know you have not much experience in the world yet, but you are a dear good boy and I think you will never regret paying some deference to your mother's wishes. I cannot tell what you would do, what would amuse? you &c&c. you say it is not wrong[underlined]. I hope not but I can say nothing until I know, but I let me advise[underlined] you to do nothing your father would disapprove.

[[Written up left side-- It was not this that Frank Barlow had monia? , tho he was a little sick, he made a call here yesterday of 2 hours On Nannie, I never said? him look better.