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Sept 6th Dearest Johnny How much at variance must have been my miserable letter with my feelings to give you such unpleasant ideas. I do not know what I did say, but I assure you my feelings on the subject of your visit to us were of grateful pleasure and affectionate delight. I really felt that it was so very kind in you, but I will feel just as sorry that I had it not in my power to pay your expenses and make you presents - I thought a great deal about it and tried hard to see how it was best as it was and finally concluded 'twould do you good to gratify me at so much expense of time, fatigue & care? to Julia too I have awarded due credit for both her visits. Indeed I wish you could have staid here longer that we might have nursed both you & dear Frank poor boy how sorry I am he is no better - I wish I could nurse him, don't give him much medicine, be careful not to overload his stomach, prefer milk to all other foods - one reason why I do not write oftener is that I am so frequently nervous and anxious and out of sorts, and unfit to write, then I suppose my letters unconsciously bear the impress of my excited feelings. I feel that my physique is less able for such conflicts and their is more severe and protracted - But my gratitude for my beloved children silences every rising murmur, and their happiness and well being constitutes the joy of my life - Their love and kindness to me is a deep fountain of consolation - my chief anxiety is for its continuance to all eternity. A year is long, but the certain expectation of a yearly visit from you & yours